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Archive for category Games

Duke Nukem Forever

Jun 15

Posted by ren in Games, Reviews | 9 Comments

Wall tweeted about how the Public Relations firm for Duke Nukem Forever wants to silence negative reviews. The company, Redner Group tweeted (and then deleted):

#AlwaysBetOnDuke too many went too far with their reviews… we r reviewing who gets games next time and who doesn’t based on today’s venom

In order to help out professional game reviewers, I have decided to write a review of Duke Nukem Forever so negative, and in such poor taste, that it will hopefully deflect all negative attention away from legitimate, professional writers.

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F1 2010: The Game

Nov 12

Posted by ren in Games, Reviews | 3 Comments

Being a passionate Formula One fan, I was excited to finally pick up a copy of F1 2010 for the Playstation 3. In between playing the game I decided to type down some thoughts into this short review.

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Levitar 3D

Oct 30

Posted by wall in Games | No Comments

Levitar 3D is a game made by a friend of mine. In it you control a space ship of sorts by applying thrust, then applying thrust in the opposite direction when your ship is going too fast, then crashing into the ground. It is a lot like Lunar Lander in that it is a little like Lunar Lander, and it can be found here.

Levitar 3D screen shot 1
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Puyo Pop Fever

Sep 23

Posted by ren in Games, Reviews | 1 Comment

If you own a Nintendo DS, or any handheld system, it is mandatory that you own a falling block-puzzle game. For me, the game of choice is Puyo Pop Fever, which substitutes puyos for blocks. “What,” you ask, “is a fucking puyo?” The people at Atlus give this definition:

A puyo is a strange blob that bursts when four or more are combined together. Puyos exist in five different colors: red, blue, green, yellow, and purple. They fall in groups of 2–4.

They also smile, grin, weep, and sometimes toss you glances of rage.

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Advanced Wars: Dual Strike

Sep 18

Posted by ren in Games, Reviews | No Comments

War Never Gets Old

I purchased this game the same day I purchased my Nintendo DS. Just because. I had never bothered to read any reviews of the title or ask around about its quality; although the person behind the register who handled my purchase told me that Advance Wars was his motivation for buying the hand-held console in the first place. I took his word for it and headed home feeling confident that I had picked up a decent title.

And so it was.

I am a member of a dying breed of people: those who read instruction manuals before playing new games. The moderately thick booklet for Advance Wars gave me the following backstory:

Several months have passed since the war in Macro Land. Thanks to Andy, Nell, and the other COs, the Black Hole Army was defeated. The people there can finally live in peace.

But in the far-off continent of Omega Land, trouble was brewing. It is from here that Black Hole launched a massive invasion. The enemy army has replenished its might with remarkable speed under the command of a new leader.

The last great war left many questions unanswered, and so Orange Star, Blue Moon, Green Earth, and Yellow Comet have joined forces to create the Allied Nations. Determined to free their homeland, they launch a counterattack…

Sounds like the constituents of Lucky Charms cereal decided to have at it on the field of battle.

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