Archive for category Rants

Goodbye Friends Going to Skyrim

I just wanted to take this time today to say goodbye to Wall, Daedelus, and all of my other friends who will become comatose vegetables tomorrow when Skyrim lands on shelves. I lack the necessary computer or video game console to play that drug game so I will still be around. But starting tomorrow it will be a lonely existence in a social wasteland. Within weeks the entire technical sector of the American economy will likely crash, and who knows what effects that will have on us all.

So goodbye to all my friends who will go off adventuring tomorrow, never to return again to their jobs, families, or anything that does not involve Tamriel. You will be missed.

The Surly Preview Critic

Movie previews—especially in movie theaters—are designed to short-circuit your intelligence and memory, and tap into your primal centers of hope and idealism. It is their goal to bring your expectations for every film from “Oh, fan-damned-tastic, another Final Destination Movie,” to “Another Final Destination movie? This one might be pretty good. That guy is getting killed by an electrocuted screwdriver. That’s new!”

But there is one man who sees through all those glossy, shamelessly cynical overtures to our better natures. One man who checks his hopes and dreams at the ticket counter, along with his coat, Furby, and heroin. Join him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: ,

Shadow of the Colossus: The Movie

Today Daedelus and I were theorizing over where The Last Guardian may fit within the stories of Ico and Shadow of the Colossus (SotC) Which later reminded me of a terrible fact:

Sony is making a damned Shadow of the Colossus movie.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , ,

What is the Point of Google Native Client?

Let me start by apologizing up front. I want to say sorry to the people at Google who are working hard on Native Client (NaCL). I say this because I am not trying to criticize them personally, only NaCL itself, which I feel compelled to say is stupid bullshit.

NaCL is a great example of why we, as web programmers, cannot find our way out of a paper sack. Do not worry if you know nothing about programming; you’ll still be able to see the problem with the mess.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , ,

Dear Fox (Re: Formula One),

Your broadcasts of Formula One races are lacking. You are the parent of another network (Speed) which handles these broadcasts far better than you do. Please let Speed broadcast all of the races of the season instead of choosing a few to air yourself, for the reasons listed below.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , ,

FireStats icon Powered by FireStats